Church Bells
Church bells tumble
A cacophony of joy
Impossible not to be uplifted
When they are peeling
Beats Mr Whippy hands down;
Food for the spirit,
Wins every time.
The heart beats faster
Expectations rise
Gladness suffuses
Our bodies and spreads
Through the air
Over fields and hills
Into the crannies of streets
With their houses , shops and restaurants
Touching with joy
All who hear it,
No matter how loud
Or faint with the miles
Cascading , unpredictable sound
That lifts us up and makes us smile.
The Crow
The crow sighs mournfully
It knows the score
In this god-forsaken land
Where men count for little
And gods for even less
Wind and spirits abound
That bring a peace
Knowing not god or man
in this lonely, empty land
Coming to terms
With our own significance;
Should I say insignificance
In the scheme of things.
Life hanging by a thread
Of knowing what to do,
What not to do.
Even then
The thread may break.
The crow sighs mournfully
And waits.
“Entrapment” by Bill Kearns
or the terrifying but tragically true tale of Trevor’s trapped testicle:
having just had a hernia repaired this witty offering by Bill struck a singular note of empathy with me
Trevor’s on a mission to Consumer Affairs
Trying to get a total ban
On plastic stacker chairs
He reckons that they’re dangerous
A serious threat to life
Because it was through a plastic chair
That he got into strife.
It was at the Tamworth Festival
A concert in the park
Ken and Trev were there with gear
To last them until dark
An esky full of coldies
Trevor without a care
With stubbies, thongs and tee shirt
On his plastic stacker chair
But as he stretched his legs out
His left crown jewel rolled free
And dropped right through that narrow slit
A real catastrophe!
But Trevor remained unaware
Of his dire situation
Until they gave the singer
A big standing ovation
As Trevor came up to his feet
He gave a fearsome yell!
Cause tethered to his testicle
The chair came up as well.
He grabbed the chair with both hands
And they crashed back to the ground
But the errant family jewel
Was firmly stuck, he quickly found
Well he tried to extract his testicle
But he could only curse
Cause nothing he did seemed to work
It only made things worse
Well Trev’s mate, Ken was laughing
Fit to go right off his brain
Ken’s tears were from laughter,
But Trevor’s were from pain.
Ken produced a Stanley knife
Trevor’s mouth went dry
Ken said “I’ll only cut the chair!”
But Trevor wouldn’t let him try
Well Ken climbed underneath the chair
And tried to poke things through
It’s times like this you find out
What your mates will really do
Well he pulled and pushed and prodded
But all efforts were in vain
Trevor’s nut was red and raw
And giving heaps of pain
All this unwanted attention
Was no good you realise
Cause Trevor’s tortured testicle
Swelled up to twice its size
Well the word spread quickly through the park
About the situation
People tried to get a glimpse
Of Trevor’s impending castration
Mums & Dads & kids & dogs
Of every shape and age
Trev got more attention than the singer on the stage!
Little kids were biting
Dogs were trying to have a smell
And Trevor tried to cover up
And said “Go to bloody hell!!”
“The poor bloke needs an ice-pack!”
Was the only good advice
So they sat Trev on his Esky
With it hanging in the ice
Well someone called an ambulance
And they drove off through the crowd
Trev was drinking Bundy Rum & swearing pretty loud
And so with sirens blaring
They carted Trev away
Off to the local hospital
Where he was the highlight of the day
But Trev has now recovered
With both crown jewels in place
Don’t offer him a plastic chair
Or you’ll wear it on your face!
Next year at the festival
Trevor will be there!
But wearing tight undies
And long trousers
On his canvas fold-out chair.
Campfire
Heat pulses from a surreal scene
Within the glowing red, white
And black burning limbs,
Spurting licks of yellow flame,
Sparks darting merrily from the core
Remind me of the sun from whence it came
Float up, then disappear
In the overhanging firmament
Where countless stars live and die.
A sudden CRACK!
As a settling log
Stirs my mind
And brings me back.
We glow content in the radiant heat
Sharing a yarn
Or just the silence of our company;
The chill creeping
From the alien emptiness behind,
Beyond our world
Of homely fire-lit sand
Where our like-minded faces
Share this earthen , sandy place
As the dancing shadows
Connect us to this land
Fur Fox Sake! Update
Early one morning
Just as the sun was falling
I heard a maiden calling
“What the fox going on?”
And I said to her
“Don’t you worry my dear
They’re just burning off the Amazon,
Destroying trees by the ton”
Ay
The apes of this planet
Aren’t very clever
They engage in Arms races
And stuff up the weather,
Elect bad apes for leaders
And you say
“How can this be??!”
Well!
They’re always on Twitter
Or watching TV
Have no bloody idea
Of what really matters
As they stuff up the land
And leave it in tatters.
There! I’ve had my say ;
Keep it short, keep it sweet!
Turn up the air-con
And try to survive
By God!
It’s a great time
For being alive.
Fur Fox Sake!
The apes of this planet
Aren’t very clever
They engage in Arms races
And stuff up the weather,
Elect bad apes for leaders
And you say!
“How can this be??!”
Well!
They’re always on twitter,
or watching TV
Have no bloody idea
Of what really matters
As they spread over the land
And leave it in tatters.
There! I’ve had my say;
Keep it short and sweet;
Turn up the air-con
And try to survive.
By God!
It’s a great time
For being alive.
